Behold: The DRAGON BALL Z Porn Parody We Never Asked For [SFW Trailer] | AsianCrush
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Behold: The DRAGON BALL Z Porn Parody We Never Asked For [SFW Trailer]

Otter Lee April 11, 2018 April 11th, 2018

You don’t have to find the seven Dragon Balls to make your smutty wishes come true. WoodRocket has released a new porn parody of the classic anime, called “Dragon Boob Z.” Why they didn’t go for the more obvious “Ballz” is beyond me.

There’s even a pretty tame trailer of the parody available on YouTube. Our heroine, Gokooze (I have no idea why they decided to go with that pun, either), a gender-swapped version of Goku, realizes that she has made a huge mistake.

Naive to a fault, like her namesake, she finds herself asking: “Did I put a personal ad on Craigslist for hot anime girls looking for aliens to come fuck my planet into oblivion?’

Haha, typical Gokooze. Always accidentally putting the planet in danger in search of a fierce opponent to fight–or in this case, fuck.

She’s joined by a belligerent Vegeta, dubbed “Vageata,” who is seen losing a game of rock paper scissors to Gokooze before he can challenge Vagin Buu, a villain who combines the origin story of Cell, the affably evil tone of Frieza, and the look of Kid Buu–but with boobs. There’s also Prickolo, a definitively female version of Piccolo, and Ballma, who with her blue hair and valley girl accent is maybe the most spot-on recreation.

Dragon Ball has always had a larger cast of male characters than female, which you think would make it better suited to a gay porn parody with all the shirtless, muscular men and screaming. I’m all for gender-bent reimaginings, but what’s baffling to me is the exclusion of multiple fan-favorite female characters for gender-swapped versions of the series’ demonic/alien villains. Android 18 and Launch are reduced to extremely cringeworthy puns without appearances. And no, they didn’t call her Android 18+. (Another missed opportunity.)

It’s as if whoever wrote (Vuko and Brandon Graham) this monstrosity wanted to show the world that they have a baseline knowledge of DBZ without actually putting the work in of creating something that actually resembles the series’ characters.

Instead of pairing Vageata and Ballma, a canon couple in the actual series, they have Prickolo accidentally discover a sex toy in Ballma’s room, which resembles nothing that would ever happen. The funniest line from the trailer is probably Vageata calling Gokooze by her original name: Cockarot.

Now that’s a dick pun that actually fits into the series.

It is this writer’s opinion that a porn parody should do two things: capture the original spirit of the series, and be sexy. This clearly does neither.

But you gotta know that somewhere, someday–there’s gonna be somebody getting off to this. And that’s a fact we have to live with.